Bephinzog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless turtle.

Bephinzog created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bephinzog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bephinzog, he will not care.

Bephinzog's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bephinzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from ash.

2. Do not keep eight squirrels in a large pit.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always wash your feet before prayer.

5. Always act with purity.