Narlpinflab is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish monkey.

Narlpinflab created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlpinflab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Narlpinflab, it will strike you with lightening.

Narlpinflab's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Narlpinflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place bananas upon stone.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Do not prepare onions while filled with envy.

5. Never sit in summer.