Wapcedban is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable dingo.

Wapcedban created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapcedban, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wapcedban, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wapcedban's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Wapcedban's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.