Flamdinman is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, humorless parrot.

Flamdinman created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flamdinman, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flamdinman, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flamdinman's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Flamdinman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Flamdinman must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Always help ducks in need.