Yartsogjam is a god.

She takes the form of a large, charitable unicorn.

Yartsogjam created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartsogjam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yartsogjam, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yartsogjam's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Yartsogjam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never approach forests carrying stone.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.