Sogpincud is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest gnu.

Sogpincud created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogpincud, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sogpincud, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sogpincud's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Sogpincud's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Do not consume turnips at dawn.

4. Never mark doors with brown.

5. Never hop near badgers.