Donwabxen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered bat.

Donwabxen created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donwabxen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Donwabxen, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Donwabxen's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Donwabxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Always store lemons above ground.

3. Do not wear trousers marked with magenta.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Never feed wheat to snails while wearing scarves.