Canomtfon is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awesome narwhal.

Canomtfon created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canomtfon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Canomtfon, she will boil you in a big pot.

Canomtfon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Canomtfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Never eat lemons on fasting days.

3. Never mix wheat with blood.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Canomtfon on top of all buildings.

5. Never handle silver while unclean.