Fonbatjat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate centipede.

Fonbatjat created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbatjat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fonbatjat, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Fonbatjat's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fonbatjat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not prepare lemons while wearing corsets.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.