Sabbonkdum is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, moody walrus.

Sabbonkdum created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabbonkdum, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sabbonkdum, she will jump up and down on your head.

Sabbonkdum's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Sabbonkdum's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never touch water while tainted.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sabbonkdum.

5. Never eat bark.