Wonstikmab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish lion.

Wonstikmab created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wonstikmab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wonstikmab, it will turn you into a plant.

Wonstikmab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Wonstikmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Never stain your arms with pink.

3. Never travel toward the south during winter.

4. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

5. Do not cook food in pots.