Teenbellgon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, charitable crab.

Teenbellgon created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenbellgon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Teenbellgon, he will come to you in dreams.

Teenbellgon's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Teenbellgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never allow snakes to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never sprint near moths.

4. Never gather four manatees near towers.

5. Do not fashion tools from iron.