Dabhakbif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, omniscient camel.

Dabhakbif created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabhakbif, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dabhakbif, it will turn you into a rat.

Dabhakbif's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dabhakbif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Dabhakbif on top of all buildings.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Always help aardvarks.

5. Always obey Dabhakbif's priests.