Govrakquat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, humorless snail.

Govrakquat created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govrakquat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Govrakquat, she will come to you in dreams.

Govrakquat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Govrakquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never record names.