Tig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, temperamental mouse.

Tig created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tig, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place corn upon stone.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with yellow.

3. Worship no other gods but Tig.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tig.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.