Jopbinkar is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, sapient jellyfish.

Jopbinkar created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopbinkar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jopbinkar, he will turn you into a goat.

Jopbinkar's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jopbinkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not speak about parsnips.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.