Stragfadken Hatrillzan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable squirrel.

Stragfadken Hatrillzan created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragfadken Hatrillzan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stragfadken Hatrillzan, he will turn you into a rat.

Stragfadken Hatrillzan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Stragfadken Hatrillzan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not eat peanuts.