Volgunquam Cutgub is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating scorpion.

Volgunquam Cutgub created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volgunquam Cutgub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volgunquam Cutgub, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Volgunquam Cutgub's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Volgunquam Cutgub's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.