Barnbedcad is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sage owl.

Barnbedcad created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbedcad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Barnbedcad, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Barnbedcad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Barnbedcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while unclean.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to foxes while wearing turquoise stockings.

5. Never eat coconuts.