Hudhanpad Wapjancut is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonourable gerbil.

Hudhanpad Wapjancut created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hudhanpad Wapjancut, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hudhanpad Wapjancut, it will turn you into a goat.

Hudhanpad Wapjancut's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hudhanpad Wapjancut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare limes while filled with pride.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

5. Retreat if eight cats approach from the west.