Latyarpstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-confident skunk.

Latyarpstaf created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latyarpstaf, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Latyarpstaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Latyarpstaf's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Latyarpstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never paint your chest turquoise.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not prepare bananas while filled with joy.

5. Never go into white rooms.