Arndapben is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, conceited squid.

Arndapben created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arndapben, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arndapben, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Arndapben's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Arndapben's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to turtles while wearing red ear rings.

2. Arndapben loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

3. Never whisper while facing east.

4. Do not place onions upon stone.

5. Never feed tomatoes to mites while wearing white shoes.