Foncanbim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, almighty gerbil.

Foncanbim created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Foncanbim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Foncanbim, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Foncanbim's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Foncanbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention capybaras.

2. Never gather three badgers near towers.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not resist fate.