Sidkardon is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, wise guinea pig.

Sidkardon created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidkardon, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sidkardon, it will turn you into a goat.

Sidkardon's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Sidkardon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not prepare nuts while wearing boots.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Never prepare spinach during summer.