Yartflapzan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering squirrel.

Yartflapzan created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartflapzan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yartflapzan, he will turn you into a goat.

Yartflapzan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yartflapzan's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

5. Never paint your legs purple.