Pitsisren is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, impressive cat.

Pitsisren created the Tadpole Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Pitsisren, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pitsisren, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pitsisren's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pitsisren's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

3. Do not take Pitsisren's name in vain.

4. Never talk about special relativity near seals while wearing violet jumpers and balancing three titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.