Fotcunxem is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair raven.

Fotcunxem created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotcunxem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fotcunxem, it will be very sad.

Fotcunxem's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fotcunxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fotcunxem.

4. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.