Kankinfem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating toad.

Kankinfem created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kankinfem, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kankinfem, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kankinfem's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Kankinfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five grasshopers in a large pit.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

4. Kankinfem loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. You must pray to Kankinfem four times a day.