Gebmuttin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent penguin.

Gebmuttin created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebmuttin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gebmuttin, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gebmuttin's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gebmuttin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses.

2. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Respect your elders.