Sawapyak is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, stupid hare.

Sawapyak created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawapyak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sawapyak, it will curse you with boils.

Sawapyak's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Sawapyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Feed all hungry goats.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Do not sprint in public.