Basscitnak is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent coyote.

Basscitnak created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basscitnak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Basscitnak, he will laugh at you.

Basscitnak's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Basscitnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never wear brown trousers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.