Tabvagceb is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, proud spider.

Tabvagceb created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabvagceb, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tabvagceb, she will turn you into a tree.

Tabvagceb's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tabvagceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near ants while wearing violet tights and balancing three silver spheres on your neck.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Tabvagceb in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never stain your chest with magenta.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion tools from platinum.