Hitcubton is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, contented grasshopper.

Hitcubton created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitcubton, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hitcubton, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hitcubton's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hitcubton's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not prepare carrots while filled with envy.

5. Always help sick porpoises.