Kaptunsaw is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, competent zebra.

Kaptunsaw created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kaptunsaw, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kaptunsaw, she will laugh at you.

Kaptunsaw's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Kaptunsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Always maintain purity during holy days.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Never eat bark.