Flisbanbog is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, competent swallow.

Flisbanbog created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisbanbog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flisbanbog, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Flisbanbog's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Flisbanbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.