Dotguptab Wegcamquaf Yimgedarn is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, humorless cow.

Dotguptab Wegcamquaf Yimgedarn created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotguptab Wegcamquaf Yimgedarn, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dotguptab Wegcamquaf Yimgedarn, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dotguptab Wegcamquaf Yimgedarn's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Dotguptab Wegcamquaf Yimgedarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the east during winter.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to sharks while wearing violet shirts.

4. Do not contemplate dark matter during the night.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.