Taptargnel is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unjust weasel.

Taptargnel created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Taptargnel, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Taptargnel, it will turn you into a duck.

Taptargnel's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Taptargnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Taptargnel in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always wash your chest before prayer.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Never run in the presence of snails.