Sterfobved is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast lobster.

Sterfobved created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterfobved, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sterfobved, it will remove you from existence.

Sterfobved's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Sterfobved's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sterfobved.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

5. Always remove rings before touching gold.