Fumxindob is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty hummingbird.

Fumxindob created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumxindob, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fumxindob, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fumxindob's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fumxindob's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must love Fumxindob.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

5. Never touch ash while blessed.