Yarpmapkap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, quiet armadillo.

Yarpmapkap created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmapkap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarpmapkap, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Yarpmapkap's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Yarpmapkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of numbers.

2. Erect a giant white sculpture of Yarpmapkap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Run away from purple gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.