Teenfadcum is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, benevolent ant.

Teenfadcum created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenfadcum, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Teenfadcum, she will curse you with boils.

Teenfadcum's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Teenfadcum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide if three tapirs approach from the north.

3. Never talk about gravity near seals while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing nine silver spheres on your chest.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.