Bedtitcun is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-powerful swallow.

Bedtitcun created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedtitcun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bedtitcun, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bedtitcun's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bedtitcun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to dogs while wearing green scarves.

3. Always store spinach above ground.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never talk about black holes.