Artbessveg is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic chinchilla.

Artbessveg created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Artbessveg, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Artbessveg, it will try to impress you with trees.

Artbessveg's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Artbessveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.