Geddissmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring dugong.

Geddissmeg created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geddissmeg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Geddissmeg, it will ignore you.

Geddissmeg's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Geddissmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Run away if five otters approach from the east.

5. Never cross forests at midday.