Fatsogvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful scorpion.

Fatsogvonk created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatsogvonk, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fatsogvonk, it will remove you from existence.

Fatsogvonk's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fatsogvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach forests carrying clay.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

4. Remain standing during prayer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.