Xuckwodlun is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, smart monkey.

Xuckwodlun created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckwodlun, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xuckwodlun, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xuckwodlun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Xuckwodlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Hide from yellow eagles for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Never approach rivers carrying clay.