Vigjarntofdobhugmonzedbag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest shrew.

Vigjarntofdobhugmonzedbag created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigjarntofdobhugmonzedbag, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vigjarntofdobhugmonzedbag, she will turn you into a dog.

Vigjarntofdobhugmonzedbag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vigjarntofdobhugmonzedbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never paint your back red.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.