Padtalhab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy crane.

Padtalhab created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Padtalhab, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Padtalhab, it will remove you from existence.

Padtalhab's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Padtalhab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Padtalhab.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near badgers while wearing red hats and balancing six silicon spheres on your chest.

3. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

4. Never proclaim while facing west.

5. Do not take Padtalhab's name in vain.