Ruttpomfed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing guinea pig.

Ruttpomfed created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttpomfed, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ruttpomfed, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ruttpomfed's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Ruttpomfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing dresses.

3. Worship no other gods but Ruttpomfed.

4. Always store pineapples above ground.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.