Quartquimdob is a god.

He takes the form of a large, pitiless camel.

Quartquimdob created oxygen twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quartquimdob, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quartquimdob, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quartquimdob's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quartquimdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Do not run at crossroads.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.